The Spirit of Kindness

My sweet, sweet friends. What would I do without you. You take me on trips, spa treatments, errands (I can’t drive now!), and hold me when I cry. You make wonderful meals and just LISTEN. You made a me calendar to organize this mess. You dont judge my retail therapy. You help me with Sweetie Cheeks. What did I do to deserve such sweet love and nurturing?

Not to mention the outpouring of support found on Facebook and my heartfelt blog. It’s overwhelming sometimes.

But it carries me. I’m so lucky to have these women hold my hand to keep me from falling. They are so special and selfless. I have found my angels. I hope they know this.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Aside from my port being put in, I sure did.

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Now what just happened????

Wow. It’s been a horrible two weeks to say in the least. But I’m here, so that is good. My breast cancer seemed to have come back, and not in any nice way. I had a terrible headache for weeks and it got so bad I had to go to the ER. It turned out cancerous lesions (5) made it onto my head and was causing all the pressure and suffering. Sad face. I had a shunt put in by a very nice neurosurgeon to relieve the pressure (thank goodness) and started brain radiation immediately. It’s actually going well, I’m just a nervous nelly a lot of the time. Radiation will be done in about a week but I think this might be the easy part.

So they’re not quite sure what they are going to do with me yet, my oncologist is out of town (well-deserved, he’s great) just because there are a few different things going on. I’m up for another PET Scan which scans your whole body radioactively and this darn lung biopsy. There may be a spot on my liver but they’re not super worried about so I can let that go. A lymph node in my right arm may be wanting to cause a problem but as my dad says, we probably have most of the bad information, and the doctors are going to collect it as to be able to research and make the best choices for chemo and I can get this junk out of my body!!!!! Dang my body is mad right now. It is begging for a Zumba class. I will be getting a second opinion at UC Davis and I keep reminding myself this is not hopeless, even if we don’t have a treatment plan yet. There seem to be a few options.

Each day is different. I’m tired. I try to be happy I have been given another day with my daughter. But shit, this is unfair. The weather is gorgeous and my wine is waiting for me! And wine sounds terrible! My job has been so supportive. My friends are truly angels. I have not been left wanting.

Thank you for listening. Life is so complicated yet so beautiful. I want everyone to do one fun thing this weekend cause its spring and everyone deserves it!!!!!! Seriously, I could not find the light of these past days without everyone’s continued support and love. It makes my heart full so I can pull through another couple hours and find a smile again. xo